Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Steph Was Here

Suicide. It's such an upsetting thing to hear about. On the news, in news papers - even in books. Whenever I hear that someone has died by suicide, my heart sinks. It's so terrible to imagine someone in so much pain, them thinking this was their only way out. It's unbelievably sad.

But it's nothing like the shock and sadness felt to hear that someone you know has taken their life. A week ago today, a colleague of mine died. I'm terribly sad to say that I didn't know Steph very well; during the whole time we worked for the same company, I think we only worked together maybe four times. But she was always friendly and funny, and I liked her. Four days before she died, I was working with her. Three of us were together, having a laugh and a joke while we worked. We were having a good night. Then four days later, Steph was gone.

The day I found out was awful, I spent the day working in a kind of fog. My heart broke for Steph, for how she must have felt to do what she did, the pain she was hiding. I've wanted to say something for a while, but wasn't sure what I could say - especially as I didn't really know Steph. But it's important to me that I say something. That you see Steph as a person, and not just another statistic. So I'll tell you what I do know.

There was a girl. Her name was Steph. Steph was in her 20s, and was a part-time bookseller. She also worked at an animal shelter. She reviewed for a movie review site. She'd recently found a new job that she was due to be starting soon. She was a really nice girl. Steph existed, she lived in this world.

Steph was here - and now she's not.

I hope you can rest in peace now, lady.

If anyone reading is having problems, please get in touch with The Samaritans. There's help out there. You're not alone.

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